A List Of Things I Find Sus

Here's a list of things that grind my gears.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of the things I just find weird. I think you should find these things weird too, but the general indifference people have towards what I’m about to list tells me I may be wrong. Anyway, let’s begin.

P.S If you agree with me don’t forget to like and subscribe for the algos.

Ladies and Couples sharing relationship tips on Instagram

The first thing on my list are couple influencers. I have been following a couple on Instagram for a year or two now. These guys got married about two years back, and from the first day of their marriage they started giving relationship tips and advice. They even have a YouTube channel where they teach young single people how to pick partners. Yes, I am not kidding.

My question is this; why?

These guys haven’t even seen anything yet, as the congregation will say. They’ve surmounted no great obstacle in the course of their marriage, and they even said they were both virgins before they got married. If we assume that’s true (which I don’t), it means that they even have less experience than the average single 35 year old relationship journey-man and journey-woman. My problem is what sort of advice can they even give people? Asides from that, what if they split up?

They sell this Christian marriage ideal, but given what I know about Christians generally I don’t think I’m sold. This is a really young marriage, and they’ve made a peach out of being marriage influencers. Sure, they are not single, and may have some experience to share. But it is like a one eyed man with glaucoma and eye cancer in the good eye leading the blind. If the couple eventually breaks up — which is not just possible but likely given what we know about young marriages — what happens then? Do they just delete the page? What of their thousands and thousands of fans worldwide? More importantly would the couple not be forced to suffer indignities that a divorce may solve just because of what their fans may say?

Reason with me. Even marriages between two average people who have no fans and only friends and family to worry about suffer from “peer pressure”. There are a lot of people who don’t get divorced because of what people may say, despite a divorce being the best option on the table. Now imagine that the entire marriage is a content mill for online in-laws — would that not dramatically increase the pressure the couple may go through if they ever consider divorce? How does one even come back from that?

Older couples who are somewhat confident in their marriage and trust one another still run this risk, but at least it’s negligible. If you don’t divorce or separate in the first ten years of your marriage, your chances of making it to thirty years improves. But at year one you don’t even know if you’ll survive till year five. Is that really the time to make your marriage a spectacle for online people? Online people that A) don’t care and B) are almost clinically retarded?

But even online couples are not the worst things on Instagram.

I follow someone who is not even married yet and is a student — but she also gives out relationship tips to people looking to marry. That is like if someone wrote a 6 thousand word treatise on Chess and literally could not play the damned game.

She also claims to be a U.S.A certified relationship and marriage consultant. Look, I get that you can learn courses and read about these things, but I personally think experience is more important.

That’s why I think it’s sus.

Judge Judy Defendants

If you’ve watched Judge Judy, you’ll already know why I find this show very weird. Here’s how the show starts out. Two people come to Judge Judy and ask her to settle a personal disagreement. Most times it’s something trivial, like some fellow wants his friend to move out of the house and wants Judge Judy to decide on whether he has the rights to do that. But the manner that she prosecutes these cases is what disturbs me. Let me give you an example.

The last Judge Judy episode I watched had one woman as the plaintiff and anther man as the defendant. The plaintiff accused the defendant, who is her ex-boyfriend, of owing her about $900 and refusing to pay. The defendant apparently borrowed the money to pay his rent. Now, get this. This defendant is thirty five years old and lives with his mother. That means he borrowed money from his girlfriend to pay his mother’s rent, and his mother knew about it. And both of them — mother and child — could not cough up enough money to pay back this woman who borrowed them cash for their rent. Guess what? The mother was sitting right there in the court room and the camera kept focusing on her. What makes the case even more annoying is that the mother works. Apparently she is a cook at some school… but had to be borrowing money through her thirty five year old son who lives with her FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND.

What happened to shame?

When Judge Judy asked the guy why he did not pay back the money yet, he said that the plaintiff used to call him over to help her fix stuff, so he thought that covered the payments. Remember, this is a thirty five year old abled body male. The incredible thing, to me at least, is the fact that the three people involved in this mess showed no sign of shame. I wonder how that guy’s friends will look at him after the show airs. Or how his mother’s friends will look at her. This is not just washing your dirty linen in public. It is getting shat on by a 400 pound prison escapee with AIDS ON INSTAGRAM LIVE. The shame could push me to suicide. There is no way those are real people. They have got to be actors.

People who talk about sex on Twitter

Ever so often, as I scroll the massive wasteland called Twitter, I find odd tweets that make me reconsider the belief that human beings generally deserve social media. Anyway, one of those odd tweets include peoples parents and uncles and aunties sharing stories of their sexual escapades. These guys are not anonymous accounts. They are real people who wake up in the morning and say, you know what? This seems like a good day to tell the people of Twitter about that one time I got an happy ending at a massage parlor. Or this seems like a great time to tell the people of Twitter about that one time I had sex with someone with a small penis.

If I were the relative of someone like that the sort of disgust that would fill my heart would be unquantifiable. Yet these guys don’t care about such nonsense. Instead, the most important thing to them is the validation they get from the likes and retweets their posts garners. I think people like that suffer from a mental illness. If they want to share all the nitty gritty horridness of their lives would it not be better to put it on, I don’t know — and I am just spitballing here — a newsletter and host it somewhere totally random like Substack? That is what I would do.

Ancient Greeks

I have always known that the ancient Greeks were really smart, but I recently started reading a book on Greek Philosphy and let me tell you, I am not quite sure these guys were actually human beings.

Guys like Pythagoras literally invented abstract thinking (and alongside it mathematical formulations) by just… thinking. Do you know how insane that is? Just some random guy in robes thinking himself to mathematical abstractions and whatnot? He was also pretty wack too, this Pythagoras guy. He was basically a priest who had a religion that outlawed eating beans for some reason. Weirdo. All my beans loving homies hate him for that.

But that isn’t all. Some guys also actually described atoms. This was like in 450 BC. That is, over four centuries before Jesus Christ died to save the world. Their logic was this; things are divisible, however there must be a limit to that, hence the small particle that makes up a thing that cannot be divided is an atom. Asides from figuring out atoms through deductive reasoning, they also realized that the absence of atoms is space, and hence space and atoms are what make up reality. That is pretty bloody insane, is it? How cool is that?

Lil durk

Why in Gods name do yahoo boys like this guy? He sounds like a mosquito with extra testosterone. He also looks trans. Anyway, he has a new song out and to my shock it was not totally unbearable.

The song topped the Nigerian top 100 songs list on Apple Music, which told me that yahoo boys all over the federation were working extra hard to stream it. Anyway, good luck to them.

The thing about this song that really grinds my gears is the chorus. It goes like this;

All my life, they have been trying to keep me down

They could not break me, they could not break me

If you listen to a lot of hip-hop you will agree that this theme — of haters and enemies fighting the artist — is present in every album. Now, here is what I think; the average person does not have that many haters. Seriously. You may have people who don’t like you, but most people would not go out of their way to keep you down. Most human beings simply don’t care that much. Scheming is too much effort for most people and they would rather stew in their bitterness than form a cabal to actually keep you down.

Side Note; Interestingly, this is what some feminists think happened for most of human history: a cabal of men schemed to keep women scientists and philosophers and whatnot down. However, this cabal suddenly lost its power to keep women down at around the same period of the Industrial revolution, the invention of the birth control pill, creation of condoms, invention of sensible sanitary tools, and safe abortions. What a totally random and completely incidental coincidence. Wild.

That is why I think this mentality, of having many haters and enemies who are always warring with one, is a result of a barely disguised fetish. These guys want to have haters. They want conflict. But since they usually cannot create one or are too cowardly to join a proper gang, they use their music to fantasize about having active enemies and triumphing over them. Modern men can no longer find purpose in large scale battles, so they find that dopamine of victory in other things — like football, or the songs of professional hater-havers like Lil Durk. Maybe that is why so many young men like Lil Durk and other such rappers.

Me? I get my music from gay bands like Imagine Dragons, AJR and Coldplay. I don’t fantasize about having haters, you see. I fantasize about dragons.

Goodbye, and stay safe.

You look like you are on the spectrum

Gbohunmi.