Agba Singing

Have you heard Agba Singing by Rybeena?

I am sat in a barbershop that is too expensive for my own good, and I am minding the business that pays me. The song on the stereo is some slop by Kiss Daniel or something, and I am mindlessly following it. Then it switches to what I’d say is a musical masterpiece. This song wasn’t just good because it sounded good, but because it had such impeccable songwriting. It was the equivalent of encountering a Shakespearan manuscript while scrolling Instagram reels. If you know what you are looking for, it is difficult to continue scrolling. You just stop and admire it. And that is what I did.

The song, I later learned, was titled Agba Singing, which means “expert singing”, because it was really evidence of an expert at work. What do you do when you experience such high art? Do you just keep quiet about it? God forbid, says Paul. Even Jesus said that one does not put on a lamp and then place it underneath a blanket. Instead, one puts the lamp on a bowl and gives it to everyone to see. If you really think about it, I am like Prometheus, bringing the fire of Agba Singing to you. One only hopes I am not tied to a rock and eagles are not forced to eat my liver for eternity just like with Prometheus.

So what makes Agba Singing such a good song? The lyrics, if you can believe it. Nigerian artists would rather die than write coherent music, and Nigerian listeners don’t care anymore, so it was refreshing to find an artist who tried to pass a coherent message. You may say the message itself is vain and arrogant, and you would be correct. But what do you really expect Rybeena, Agba Singing, to do? Sing about the joys of peasantry? Never. He is an agba, after all. Here is how the song starts out.

Omo Ogbon,

Roju show your workings, No long talk

So ma gbo

You know truth is Bitter

Kola Nut

What does it mean to be an omo ogbon? In Yoruba, it literally means child of knowledge. When people use it this way, they refer to someone who tries to be clever by half. For example, you would not call Newton an “omo ogbon”. But do you know who you would most certainly call an omo ogbon? Taleb. Let me put it in football terms for people who don’t know who Taleb is. You would not call Ronaldo an omo ogbon, but you would call Quaresma one. Another good example is Ronaldinho and Jay Jay “so good they named him twice” Okocha. One of them, by the standards of football, is certainly an “omo ogbon”. An omo ogbon, as they say, tries to run faster than his shadow. You don’t want to be one.

That is what makes the next line so good. He tells the omo ogbon to be patient and show his workings. You see, omo ogbons are notorious for talking a big game because their skill never matches the propaganda they put behind it. He enjoins them to focus less on propaganda, but instead on showing their workings. The next line continues in this theme, and so ma gbo means are you listening. The omo ogbon knows the truth is bitter, just like a kolanut.

Me and you one on one

So le ba mi gba facing, ball on ball

E lo ko

Soon I’m going to chill with Elon Musk

In this first line, Rybeena starts talking about his enemies, as most Nigerian artists eventually do. The enemy here is the omo ogbon from earlier. He is asking the omo ogbon if he can face Rybeena one on one. Now, I have seen this dude, and he is quite skinny. I don’t think he will be able to actually beat this omo ogbon if it came to it, that’s why he probably suggested a footballing contest in the next line. If you think that is absurd, that is your bias speaking. Even Shakespeare had a character that argued that he’d done the villains mother. That is what artistic license is all about, people. It is the celebration of the tastefully absurd.

He then tells us, the audience, to go and write it down. Write what down, you ask? That he is going to chill with Elon Musk. You may say, well, fat chance of that, but is it really that unlikely? Elon Musk has chilled with some pretty unsavory characters in recent times, and is literally the only mega popular dude in the world you wouldn’t rule out of chilling with some Nigerian artist. Excellent writing again, Agba Singing. Now for the best part of the song.

So Mo Pe Ile Aye Yi Ko Lo Titi

IQ lo gba so mo kogbagidi

When I’m no more ko fi nnkan ranti mi

Pe Rybeena Kan Wa, Agba Singing.

The first line literally means “This life isn’t that long”. But in Nigerianese it is a saying yahoo boys¹, who possibly make up the largest portion of Rybeena’s fanbase, have that means vanity upon vanity. In certain contexts, it can also mean anything can happen and you shouldn’t be surprised (because vanity upon vanity). It is the sort of saying you wouldn’t expect from career fraudsters. If they knew that all life is vanity, would they be fraudsters? But that is where Nigeria is peculiar. The yahoo boys are yahoo boys precisely because they understand that life is vanity upon vanity. If nothing matters, and it is all vanity anyway, doesn’t that make the impetus to disregard all moral sense and go into a life of crime more alluring? If we are not getting out of life alive anyway, doesn’t that make it more important to enjoy life through any means you can? Besides, they would also like to teach their victims that all their possessions are vain. You may think this sort of philosophical interpretation of the world is insane, but hey, if it works, it works. After all, ile aye yi ko lo titi.

You’d think the last people to be IQ poasters in Nigeria would be musicians. But you would be wrong. The first time I heard the word “IQ”, I was in primary school, and it was used by a teacher to abuse a student. Now that I think of it, I wonder if that dude knew the big dark truth about IQ tests. Anyway the next line is basically a reduction of an average IQ poaster’s poast. It literally means intelligence is the key, not force or stubbornness. And it makes sense when taken with the preceding line. If life is vanity upon vanity because anything can happen, then your most important tool should be intelligence, not stubbornness.

What is the consequence of life being vanity upon vanity? To the yahoo boy it means that one should be more earnest in scamming victims, since it does not matter anyway. But it also means we are all going to die one day. And what happens when we are dead? People try to remember us. Rybeena also wants us to remember him, but he has a specific manner in which he wants that remembrance to be done. When I’m no more, he says, ko fi nnkan ranti mi. That means use this to remember me. And that is this; Pe Rybeena kan wa, agba singing. This literally means, say that there was one Rybeena, he was really good at singing.

And isn’t that what all of us wants? To be remembered as experts at something? Maybe not even exceptionally good at something. Maybe just remembered for something. Anything. Life is vain, Rybeena argues, and all we live for is to be remembered. Rybeena wants to be remembered as agba singing. He wants to be well remembered for his singing abilities. But the truth is bitter, kolanut. It isn’t so easy for Rybeena, as you will see.

Rybeena has 191k followers on Instagram, and his most popular song (that I know of) is Wise 2.0, a remix of Wise 1.0 where he has Olamide, a once-popular Nigerian musician, on to boost reach. He has just under 400k monthly listeners on Spotify as well. Those are low numbers, even in Nigeria. In all likelihood, if Rybeena dies today, he probably will not be remembered as agba singing by most people. I suppose industry friends and his loyal fans would remember him, but it wouldn’t be earth shattering news since most people don’t know him. Like he said, truth is bitter, kola nut.

That got me thinking. Most of us will die before chilling with a metaphorical Elon Musk. When we die, what are we likely to remembered as? Are we likely to be remembered as prolific wielders of some skill? Do we even want that? Would you want people to say, about you, Lagbaja kan wa, agba coding? Or Tamedo kan wa, agba cooking? Or agba scamming? Or agba reading? Or agba founding? Or agba balling? If that is not what we'd want, why do we spend all our time doing it? Of course, I understand that sometimes we do what we don’t want so that we can afford nice things we want. But remember; Ile Aye Yi Ko Lo Titi. And IQ lo gba, Ko gba agidi.

Inna a 'taina ka-l-Kawthar
Fa salli li-Rabbi-ka wa-nhar
Inna shani' a-ka huwa-l-abtar

Mo ti mo nkan to j’ogun lo

Na Quran mimo

Je n sotito

Olorun mi n be bi atijo

Ko lo ibi kankan

The second stanza starts out with Arabic. As you know, all the good artists are men of deep learning, and Rybeena is no different. I can only imagine how deeply he was beaten at Ile Kewu to cram this passage of the Quran, but he did and now I can have the pleasure of analyzing it. The verse can be translated to this in English;

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Lo! We have given thee Abundance; So pray unto thy Lord, and sacrifice. Lo! It is thy insulter (and not thou) who is without posterity.

The verse refers to Allah giving the Prophet Muhammed some abundance. After getting the abundance, the prophet is asked to pray unto Allah and sacrifice. He is then told that his haters are the ones who will go childless. That is a very powerful curse, and it reads, in the context of the song, that Rybeena’s haters are the ones who will not be remembered. Think of that. He's telling people how to remember him, and also telling people that his enemies will not be remembered because they will be childless — in Arabic, no less. How did Mayorkun put it? Micheal Jackson no do pass this one. Sorry MJ, but this level of songwriting is not on your level. Besides, how do we remember Michael Jackson? We call him agba dancing, not agba singing. That should tell you something.

Next he tells us why he just went through the trouble of singing in Arabic. The translation of that line is; I am in possession of something more powerful than mere charms. You may say, well, Elewa, you billed this dude as some lyrical genius. Do you mean he still believes in jazz? Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. But has anyone ever asked whether Shakespeare believed in the flat earth theory? It doesn't matter.

In the next line, he tells us what this mystical power is. And of course, it's the holy Quran. But this seems like a setup for a strange Freudian slip. In the next line, he says “let me say the truth, my God still remains like in the ancient days —- he hasn't gone anywhere”. This line is remarkable because it's decidedly Christian. It is directly a reference to the Ancient of Days title Nigerian Christians use for God. You'd often listen to Nigerian Yoruba Christians call God Olorun bi atijo. So not only is he saying his God is powerful, he is also referring directly to the Christian God.

Yoruba people are notorious for believing in nothing and believing in everything. They are Christians on Sunday and Muslims on Friday, and traditionalists when cursing out their enemies. They are playing all sides so that they can end up on top. And why shouldn't they? There are very few rational options when one is led (and cursed) by the political elites Nigerians have. So they have to strive and use every spiritual help they can get to get ahead. Of course none of it works. Like Rybeena said, truth is bitter, kolanut.

The beauty of this stanza is how he places both the Christian and Muslim conception of God side by side. You may say, well, Elewa, you're just inventing all these fantastic explanations for what sounds like mundane lyrics. Perhaps you're right. But what happens if, in the next stanza, he directly references traditional religion?

Oh, pass ewe

Elewe o jewe

Ah, mo gbe

Baraka o sunle

Time dey waste

Use your life dey play

The more degenerate of you may say, well, this just means he's asking for weed. And that's true. But it also directly references traditional religion, which, as we know, is usually done through the use of “leaves”, which is what ewe means. In the next line, he says the owner of the leaves isn't eating it, which is disastrous in traditionalist logic. Why the heck wouldn’t the owner of a concoction eat it? This inspires the next line, which is Ah, mo gbe. What a calamity!

Unfortunately, Rybeena isn’t immune to the retardation of his peers, which involves naming some random woman in the most random places. He informs us that Baraka didn’t sleep at home. And as a result of this, time is wasting. If your time is wasting, you are literally playing with your life. Because that is your time. Maybe Baraka is the one who did not eat her concoction? Maybe that is why her time is wasting? Maybe that is why she is using her life to play? Maybe that is why she won’t be remembered? Who knows. Importantly, who cares? The message has been passed. And it is simple; please remember Rybeena; he is agba singing.

1. A class of internet fraudsters.