Sisters, I have A Story To Tell; Strict Babe 101

This time a strict babe tells me her story

I had no idea what to write for my next newsletter. I have maybe 60 unfinished articles, but for some reason I just wasn’t feeling them enough to complete them. Then, as I was randomly talking with someone, they shared an almost unbelievable story. I say it’s almost unbelievable because I know it happens, but I’d never known a woman it happened to. I have decided to share it with you guys, because why not?

God Punish Anonymous

So this guy I want to tell you guys about was my mutual, because now I have blocked him. As my mother will say, trailer ti gba arin wa koja; trailer has passed in-between us. You will understand why I blocked him in a few minutes, and you will see why I had to block him for my own and his own mental health.

How did it even start? Yes, he sent an anonymous message to me. How did I know he was the one? He commented under the message and I entered his DM to ask if he was the one.

Mistake number one. What is my business please? Kilo su mi si? If you want to be a strict babe please don’t DM men. Please don’t even try it because what your eyes will see your mouth won’t be able to completely say.

That first conversation was good, let me be honest. We did not even talk about sex at all. It was just a normal adult fun conversation. We even talked till like midnight. Which is mistake number two. If you now mistakenly entered a man’s DM to ask for something, please take your answer and be going. Don’t hang around and to be rojo gutter dutty; don’t start discussing about why the community gutter is dirty. Why? Because the second mistake can lead to the third mistake. And what is the third mistake?

Well, the second day this guy did not text me at all. I wondered why. Because our first conversation was so good I was expected him to continue. But throughout that day he did not text me. You see how the second mistake could cause a third mistake?

So — please don’t judge me because all of you reading this have done even worse— I texted him to ask what’s up. Now, before that time I had told him that I am not looking for a relationship (she says, dishonestly. Is there any woman who isn’t looking for a relationship?) and I am not rushing into anything and stuff.

Well, I swallowed my pride and texted him. He took long to reply but I understood because that day was a holiday and everyone was busy. I was busy too as well. Anyway he didn’t reply my message and I left it because I am also a strict babe. I can’t be double texting a man. Because of what? It is not like I am desperate for attention. The next day I was even expecting him to text me happy new month or something, but this guy did not text me. I was already getting impatient (not desperate! God forbid a woman will be desperate for man! Tufiakwa!).

So… Okay, yes, I went back to his DM where my un-replied message was and sent him a voice note. In the voice note I asked him if there is something I did wrong and asked why he is not replying my messages. In the voice note I also told him that I felt like I was being ghosted and I do not like it. And it is true. I don’t ghost people so I hate being ghosted. Also, nobody has ever ghosted me before. Like?? I am a babe, what do you mean you ghosted me? Ghost as in how? Do they have this kind of my yansh in your area? Now that I think of it, that was the fourth mistake. I should have just let things be. But as my mother will say, ori to ba ma je iko, ko ba de fila ten million, a bo won leyo kan kan fi je iko yen; the head that will be knocked can wear a million caps — but when it is time to be knocked, it will off the million caps one by one.

Again, you people should not even judge me because you people have done worser things than the blood of Abel. Again, maybe I was just following my therapist’s instructions and speaking my mind and expressing my feelings (If I had a dollar for every female friend I have who’s told me they see a therapist I’d have five dollars which isn’t a lot but it is super weird that I have five friends rich enough to afford therapy). So please don’t judge me.

Anyway he replied oh. He said he is sorry that he did that he did not reply me. But where he now made things insane was when he said he did not text me because he was not looking for a relationship. I was like? Excuse you? Who even said I wanted to date you ugly looking riffraff before? (women will literally double text — or send a voice note and a message which is even actually worse— an ugly-looking riffraff before admitting that they want a relationship). This was a guy that I told that night that I don’t even mind if it is just friendship we have. That I don’t care and I don’t mind at all. (Guys, this is literally off one conversation Jesus my head is so hot).

Okay then he said he is scared of relationships because of how his last one ended.

(This is my honest reaction to that;

If I had a dollar for every time a male friend of mine has used “my last relationship was so bad” to avoid a relationship and reel some girl into his trap, I would have ten dollars, which is quite a lot)

So I told him okay, that’s your business (it was not), just don’t ghost me because of whatever happened in your previous relationship. I am not the cause of that, right? I think that was a fairly reasonable thing to say considering the circumstances, right?

How Not To Be A Strict Babe

Up till now I have made only four mistakes. And that is the lesson of this article and the only reason I am allowing this foolish Elewa report my story. I want to teach the girlies how to be strict and avoid fuc-bois (bro I am literally dying from laughter at this point, you cannot believe). So that was it, he apologized and we moved on. Or I thought we moved on anyway.

Then the second day this boy ghosted me AGAIN. He did not reply my messages and I was like hello?? I am a babe. I wish I could allow this foolish boy post my picture. Like? Ota lenu; it is very hot in the mouth. What do you mean you ghosted me twice? But the thing was that I was not talking to anyone else at that point in my life, which was the fifth mistake. Always be talking to someone. Always. Even if you are not dating, always have a toaster that will at least be telling you good morning even if you don’t reply. It is not every riffraff you block. There are many you keep around for barren days so that you won’t start playing yourself.

I was so pissed that this fellow that I wanted to give all my attention was behaving like a mad man. (Need I say more?). He later texted me at night that he was going through something and that is why he did not text me.

When A Man Is Going Through Something, Allow Him

Hey girlies, here is my candid and original advice for you. Whenever a random man you are talking to is going through something, allow him to go through it. It is the hottest fire that makes the sharpest knife. No matter what it is, allow him go through it. His mates have gone through more than that and they did not die. In other words, Kala, Daju, Wuwu Ika. The worst thing that can happen is that you will accelerate his journey to Incel-dom. That is it.

Anyway I asked this man about it and he said he does not want to talk about his problems. So I said okay — that whenever he wants to talk that I have a listening ear. I should have left it at listening ear oh. But silly me. Oh, silly me!

The second day he told me that his mum had to do a surgery and she had a lump in her breast so he was looking for money and stuff. I was like oh, wow. You could have just said that and I would understand. Like I get that we just met and he cannot just be offloading all his family Bukata on me. So I actually understood him perfectly.

Anyway one thing led to the other and we started talking about sex. That was like after five days of silence. The entire thing went far a bit and we talked about meeting. And then, suddenly, for no reason at all, this boy texted me and told me he won’t be online for two days. I asked why, and he said he did one job and has not been paid so he is broke. So… his subscription expires that day and he does not know when he will get sub again.

(My honest reaction to that

; )

Well, I was a bit sad but It was not like I could do anything to help his condition. I told him no problem, that I will be waiting for him. So tell me why this guy continued tweeting that same day after telling me he went offline. I did not say anything. I maintained my cool. So I went back to snap to ask about his mum and stuff. This boy did not reply me. I sent a snap as well, and he did not reply. I made up an excuse for him in my head so I did not even bother.

I waited until the day he was supposed to come back online. That day came and he did not text me. I went to Twitter and saw that the boy had been tweeting throughout the two days he said he would be offline. I posted something on my story and this boy viewed it without replying me! To make matters worse, he saw my posts, opened my chats, and then he posted! All without replying me!

That was when my head sparked! Like what sort of rubbish is this? What sort of madness have I gotten myself into? That is how I did the smartest thing I did in relation to this boy; I blocked him on Snap. Someone I should have blocked since that first day. I even blocked him on Twitter too.

But I could not stop thinking about him and his ghosting ways. I wondered if the reason he was behaving like that was because we spoke about having sex.

( I know this is girl talk so my advice is not needed but If I had a dollar for every man who ghosted a girl because they spoke about sex, I would have no dollars)

Then I suspected that it was because he maybe had a babe. Then I remembered that he once made a tweet about delivering that Aya pad to Ilorin. He never told me that he had a sister, so who does he want to deliver pads to? Cheating bastard.

Why Did You Even Like This Boy In The First Place?

He was tall.

(Brothers, is it misogynistic to ask why women can vote?)

Ten Thousand Nigerian Naira

So… let me confess. I missed a part. I actually sent him money to help with his mum’s surgery. I sent him ten thousand naira. Which was my sixth mistake. That was why when he told me that he did not have data I did not send him any money. Because it felt very somehow. How can I send you ten thousand on one day and the next day you are telling me you don’t have data? So I should be doing sugar mommy at this my young age or what?

Now that I think of it, it is quite mad. It is after I sent him that money that he told me he did not have data. And since I did not help him with data… he basically stopped talking to me. Jesus. How can they defraud a whole me? A whole me? At this point I don’t even know if he was genuine or if he was just lying the entire time. But it is good that I cut my losses early. Imagine I had bought him data that day. How many times would he have billed me afterwards? Jesus. Jesus. I am just realizing what actually happened to me. And God if I later find out he is a scammer! I will disgrace him.

And it is not even as if this boy was smart. When that MumZee’s story was trending I saw one tweet saying that her man will eventually show her his true colors when they have money. MumZee replied that they have been together for eight years and that if he wanted to show her his true colors he would have done it. I sent him the tweet and said you cannot truly know a man’s true colors until he has money, and that is how this guy got angry. He now started telling me ejo gutter dutty about how his father is a good man. I asked him why I should believe he is a good man even if his father was a good man. That is all I said oh, and that is how he took it personally and started accusing me of misandry. Is misandry even a thing? That is how we did not talk for the rest of the day oh!

Imagine. It is so sad that I am such a sweet babe. That is why I have decided to become a strict babe so that all these nonsense will never happen to me again. I could not even tell my friends. I cannot even tell my friends that I sent money to random man. A whole ten thousand? Me? Hot babe that men are pursuing? God forbid.

That is the sixth lesson. Never ever send money to a Nigerian man that has not shown workings. Because if you do, anything you see please accept it like that. I honestly believe you will see a lot, so you have to accept it like that. The craziest thing is that everything happened within two weeks. Till today that boy has not reached out to ask why I blocked him. What a foolish boy.

Finis.

And It Is All True!

I honestly wish I could come up with fiction like this, but I cannot. Or maybe I could. But women reading this will recognize their kindred spirit and understand that such an occurrence, with all its attendant peculiarities, could have only happened to a woman.

Anyhow, I have a few comments.

First, this newsletter is probably the worst place to write a letter directed to women. Why? 70% of the people who read this newsletter are insane male deviants (no offense, my frens) and the other 30% of the women who read are probably spiritually male.

Secondly; before I heard this story I did not know ghosting had this sort of psychological effort on women. Now that I know it does, I believe I can redouble my efforts because the streets keep urging me to do more. Why, you may ask. What did women ever do to you? I believe the question should be this; what did women not do?

Thirdly, I believe my friend is not really angry because the boy ghosted her. She is angry because he ghosted her after collecting her ten thousand. Of course you might say well that is horrible, and maybe it is. But women have done worse, so it is kind of a mixed bag.

If you enjoyed this newsletter, don’t forget to like, share and subscribe. Also do it if you did not like it. Thank you my love.