Tik Tok Gist (1)

I have gist from Tik Tok

Since I’m a complete introvert, I do most of my socializing online. My social diet includes too much time on Twitter, too much time on Instagram, and lately, way too much time on TikTok. But, like anyone experiencing social media brain rot will tell you, TikTok is the most gossip-y of them all. Unlike Instagram, which pushes polished skits from large accounts, TikTok has somehow convinced real people to set up ring lights and pour out their life drama to the internet. Because why not? Do you expect people not to wash their dirty linen in public? What are you, some kind of Nazi?

Unfortunately for me, I don’t go out much, and most of my friends don’t use the app the same way I do. So I have no one to share the gossip with. Now, you might think that just hearing the gist is enough. But that’s wrong. Maybe some people have a moral aversion to gossip, but I don’t think it’s entirely bad. Hearing interesting things is good — sharing them with friends is even better. Isn’t that what life is? What’s more fun than dissecting internet drama with your people?

Anyway, since my friends aren’t really into this kind of degenerate behavior — and I’d never expose this side of myself to anyone I have a romantic interest in — I’ve decided to place the burden on you, dear readers. This is the first in a new series where I report all the amazing (and ridiculous) things I see on TikTok.

Our first story is one we all know too well — but with a sad twist.

In 2022, a certain woman had what looked like the most romantic proposal imaginable. She was a Black woman, a dancer and cheerleader, and from what we could tell, she was incredible at her job. Her boyfriend, a white man, had the brilliant idea to propose during one of her performances. But he didn’t just walk onto the court. No — he got her entire team to learn a completely new routine behind her back. It was set to Bruno Mars’ Marry You. The plan? During their scheduled performance at a basketball game, the DJ would suddenly switch the track, the team would break into the new routine, and while she stood there confused, the boyfriend would walk out and propose.

And that’s exactly what happened. In front of twenty thousand people, she got a public, perfectly choreographed, fairytale engagement. I’m sure thousands of women sent that video to their boyfriends. I’m also sure thousands of boyfriends cursed their luck and this one overly romantic white man for raising the bar.

For a while, her posts basked in the joy of it all. Then… nothing. Silence. No updates in 2023. Still none in 2024. Maybe she left social media to enjoy her happy marriage with this thoughtful, romantic man. But you’d be wrong.

Her next post was a video of her sobbing, heavily pregnant. The background song? Ariana Grande’s We Can’t Be Friends. The caption? Gut-wrenching. Turns out her husband wasn’t very good at being a husband — or even a decent person. He had betrayed her, abandoned her, and made it clear their relationship couldn’t work. He went through all that trouble just to opt out after two years.

It gets worse. She was pregnant with their second child. According to her, things started unraveling after the first baby. And yes, their solution to this unraveling was to try for a second baby. Who doesn’t know that the best way to save a relationship crumbling because of a child is to double the number of kids. Anyway, this forced the man out of the picture completely.

She said she didn’t speak out earlier because she wanted to protect him. She didn’t want people who’d seen the dream proposal to witness the nightmare ending. But eventually, that consideration faded — because he clearly didn’t care about her. So why should she care about him? Good question. Why should she indeed? If your partner becomes the weapon fashioned against you, maybe it’s time to fashion yourself into a weapon as well.

As sad as this story is, it reflects something real about life today. This woman stayed silent — even through abuse — because she was scared of what internet people would say. You might say God punish internet people ten thousand times, but it’s not that simple. If you become a viral fairytale, the last thing you want is for your pain to become public property. That’s partly why I stay as pseudonymous as possible online. It’s exhausting having thousands of strangers dissect your every move. And unlike celebrities, you don’t even get paid for the trouble.

Anyway, that’s the tea. Catch you in the next episode of TikTok Gist.