Why Does Everyone Hate CCI?

I went to CCI for four sundays. Here is what I learnt.

Earlier this year I decided to spend some time in popular churches and write reviews on them. The first church on my list was CCI. It was number one because the church is the most popular young people church in Nigeria, and it has somehow gotten an awful reputation for itself on Twitter. This reputation is somewhat self inflicted because the senior pastor, a fellow named Apostle Iren, has a bad case of Twitter fingers and used to (hopefully not anymore) appear in the quotes of random gist to share his opinions. Imagine Oyedepo sub-tweeting you, or Adeboye threatening you with a block. He also had custom unbelievable tweets that would make you wonder, such as bangers like this;

Iren’s children, as people call members of CCI, also have an habit of expressing their church dogma in the most annoying ways possible. And some of the women sound like they have a earth shattering crush on their lead pastor. At least that is what Iren’s wife thinks, as she once arrived on Twitter to complain about the gumbody of some female members. If you hadn’t heard of any of this before, you’d think I’m weaving tall tales. But I am not.

As you’d expect, this made people have a generally low opinion of the church. It doesn’t help that CCI also believes in salvation by grace, which is the new age (as far as I can tell) doctrine that sinners are not necessarily going to hell. This doctrine is particularly grating for old-head Christians whose entire shtick is holiness and avoiding sin, so they have a bad reputation on that account as well.

Another reason I chose to write about CCI was because I have a few friends who attend the branch of the church closest to my house. So I set about my journey. The goal was to try to attend the church for at least four Sundays. It took several months, but I finally did it. Here are my notes.

Who Is Funding This Entire Operation?

If a Sunday service were a show, then the producers of CCI Yaba are terrifyingly talented. The lights, the cameras, the sound quality, the ambience; everything is stunning. The first Sunday I walked in, I spent maybe thirty minutes admiring the quality of the show’s production. My former church — or the one I regularly attended at any rate — did not have any of these bells and whistles. There was the regular colorfully designed altar backdrop, the elaborately designed pulpit, and a flatscreen that displayed bible passages. That was it, and we had a good Sunday.

But CCI is ten thousand times more complex and stunning than that. The display rig is a proper one that is full-length. There are colorful lights that maybe belong in a night club, the sound is crystal clear, and the A/C is blazing. I haven’t been to many night clubs in my life, but I think the ambience would be quite similar. Some members even wore gowns and did makeup that would not look amiss in a club.

Instead of boring formal wear, the choir at CCI wears hip clothes. This last Sunday they wore leather jackets (not minding the heat!), jeans and boots. Even poor Elewa with all his worldly passions and possessions would look out of place if he had to dress to match the choir!

It gets even better. Their ushers have walkie-talkies, and there must have been one usher for every ten members. There is also someone I assume is a hype-man? But I only saw him on one Sunday and not during subsequent services. The last time I saw such stunning production of a church service was when I used to attend Winners. And we all know how Winners is funded. The church has an extremely wealthy membership class that funds everything through tithes and offering, regardless of how many allusions the good Bishop makes to “divine provision”. The ACs don’t run on divine provision, but by the provision of cold hard cash, and that cash must come from somewhere.

However, as I looked around, I noticed that the church had many members, but very few looked like the money bags I’d often seen at Winners. There were no highly accomplished daddies and mommies whose tithes could run this entire gig hitch-free. Interestingly, they had reserved seats for seniors. I can only wonder how old you have to be to be regarded as a senior here; maybe 40? 45?

If a CCI member is reading this, they may smirk and say; ah, iseoluwa ko si eni to ye. God is confusing the enemies. But I am not particularly confused. I am just shocked at the alternative explanation. Which is that young people in this Nigeria have a lot of money, since they are the ones who have to be paying (and some through their noses) to run the gig. The funny thing is that not once through the four Sundays I was there did the pastor place any special emphasis on giving. This came as a pleasant surprise because I am used to Sunday services being glorified fund-raising adventures. The churches I used to attend always wanted to buy something; a new drumset, a new keyboard, a new building, and even a new generator. But despite this church service being considerably more expensive to produce, there was no special fund raising drive. They even said that tithe wasn’t compulsory, and people should just give out of love for God. Can you imagine that at a CAC church? Do you want to rob God?

How good could the experience be to capture the minds and pockets of so many young people, I wondered. It turns out that the experience was really good.

Why Are The Pastors So Good?

How do you build a great Nigerian church? First, you start with some uncommon quality. Nigerians, both old and young, like to see new things. Joseph Ayo Babalola became famous within a really short while because he performed extraordinary miracles with water. Oyedepo speaks a lot of grammar. Kumuyi has a sing-song voice that would lure even the most rational human being to his side. Oyakilome is a pretty boy with gel in his hair and fantastic clothes. Olukoya mixes science and the spiritual in a way that will confound even the most practical man. As a bonus, he has a level of fervor and passion in prayers that is otherworldly. It doesn’t matter what gospel you are preaching or what you are looking to gain; you’ve got to have a peculiar quality that lures people. You need a selling point, and CCI has several.

I have never heard the good Pastor Iren preach, but if he is anything like the pastors he appoints, then the secret behind CCI’s incredible rise is obvious. All four times I went to the church, I enjoyed the preaching. Most pastors are extremely boring, but CCI pastors have, what do Nigerians call it again, super sweet mouths. I had my grouse with the doctrine in general (but who doesn’t? The history of Christianity is the history of dudes having their grouses with doctrine), but it doesn’t matter. Even if someone is telling you nonsense, you should at least hope that it is beautiful nonsense. And boy was the nonsense beautiful.

The pastors are usually young people (relatively) in their late or early forties, and the way they relate with the youth of their congregation while preaching is fascinating. It is like listening to a very interesting podcast. I don’t know how the pastor has managed to pick a squad of such excellent speakers, but I will suggest that there is some selection effect happening here.

This doesn’t mean that the pastors are any less prone to the fantasticism that troubles Nigerian Christians. In one service I was urged to proclaim that “I carry something contagious…. People are dreaming about me and they are to favor me”. Well I sure hope they are not only dreaming of it! And God forbid I don’t carry something contagious! There is also the phonetics, one of which made me scribble “Nna mehn” on my notepad.

I recently found out that a local pastor at a local CCI church is actually a motivational speaker who charges thousands of dollars to speak at engagements. At least that is what he said on Instagram. If that is true, and if other pastors are similarly inclined, then it would make sense that the pastors are such good speakers. Importantly, there would be a multiplier effect here. The faster the church grows, and the more it becomes a cultural touch-point for young people, the faster it would attract insane oratorial talent, and the faster that talent will climb up the church ladder. At some point it would make career sense for any aspiring speaker to make their name at CCI as a preacher first, as that would expose them to the growing market of young people’s conferences and seminars. The effect would be that every pastor becomes a fantastic speaker, and this would make each local branch grow even faster.

Christians are likely to sneer at this and proclaim that it is a lie from the pit of hell. They may even think that their pastor just opens his mouth and the Holy Spirit fills it with good sounding anecdotes If that is so, why does their pastor remain a good speaker even when he is off the altar? Why does he charge thousands of dollars for speaking engagements? Anyway, let us talk about what the pastor says when the Holy Spirit indeed fills it.

Salvation Is By Grace

It is a hot summers day in 2017, and I am sat in my dorm room. I suddenly hear some fellow with a thick Igbo accent talking about Jesus and making really grand claims to my next door neighbor. I am currently bored so I step out of the room to listen to what this dude had to say. And by God, he had a lot to say.

He began by saying that most preachers quoted the scripture out of context by not reading it in line with the text. If you’re a member of CCI, you’d recognize this line because I heard it maybe 500 times across the four Sundays I went to the church. Little did I know that was just a way to raise the most obscene doctrine ever I’d heard. He kept bringing up John 3:16 and told us that it was the most important verse in scripture. I agreed, because it was the only verse I could recite off-hand.

He then asked me If the verse added any other requirement to getting to heaven but faith. I thought that it wasn’t explicitly stated, but it was obviously against the spirit of the scripture to read faith as the only requirement for heaven! In those days I still cared a great deal about scriptural interpretation and used to argue religion all the time. This dude refused to agree. His point, as far as I can remember, was that salvation is by grace, and not works. And more importantly, the only requirement for salvation is belief. This was incredulous to me, and I remember trying to trip him on his logic.

So if Jesus comes today, I asked, and I am balls deep in a woman who isn’t my wife, but I still believe Jesus is the son of God, will I make heaven? And this dude looked at me like he’d been imagining that same scenario for a while and screamed exactly! We are God’s children, and God will never punish his children for eternity because of a mistake! Well, I thought, you can’t just slip and fall into a woman’s vagina, so that doesn’t seem like a mistake.

I had one more line of questioning, and I believed this one would stump him for sure. I asked why other established pastors don’t preach what he is preaching, and told him that they would call him a heretic. He waved this off and told me that the Bible already said that we would find the truth in the mouth of babes. No, not Lagos babes. But metaphorical babies, like him, you see. Really, I wondered. That sounded like a lot more metaphorical interpretation of that verse than you were willing to allow for John 3;16.

In any case, I left that conversation thinking this was an odd doctrine that seemed to be a way for sinners to excuse their sin and continue in unrighteousness with the belief that they were just growing in righteousness and were on their own special Christian journey. At any rate I did not expect many people to take that doctrine seriously. Oh, how wrong was I!

Two years later, I was in Ife and this time I met another fellow who attended a well-staffed church who believed the same thing! The name of the church was Saints Community. This dude was a medical student who’d won several academic prizes as a student. Yet he could swear by Onayinka, the lead pastor of Saints Community, who also happened to be a fantastic orator.

However, not only did Onayinka believe that sinners could go to heaven if they believed in Jesus, he also believed excessively in tongues. Speaking tongues wasn’t strange to me, after all I’d attended Winners. But the one Sunday I went to Saints Community, we dedicated maybe 15 minutes to basically rambling unintelligible nonsense. And this wasn’t spontaneous either. The pastor specifically told us to pray in the Holy Ghost and not use words. So I reba-reba-d and skaba-skabashed my way through, wondering what sort of mind virus one has to suffer from to think this makes any sense. Was God even listening to the prayer? Importantly, if the words themselves do not matter, and I did not see how they could since everyone was just saying unintelligible nonsense, then what was the point of the tongues anyway? Again, I left the church thinking this sort of doctrine would die off soon and everyone would return to the regular Redeem-type Christian doctrine. Boy, was I wrong.

Over the next few years Saints Community became even larger, and churches that took on Onayinka’s preaching got even more popular. By 2022, it was the dominant doctrine amongst young people. And why wouldn’t it be? What is more comforting than learning that your alcoholism and fornication and homosexuality will not take you to hell if you feel badly enough about it? Someone told me this was just an extreme version of their doctrine, but I don’t see how this interpretation is extreme. It is merely a logical consequence of the doctrine. If works aren’t what guarantee salvation but faith, then works would be irrelevant except as an indication of faith. It also means that lack of works would not generally be indicative of lack of faith. This is because we know people can behave contrary to what they believe; parents who love their kids can beat them, and husband who love their wives can physically assault them.

Therefore, it has to be true that there is no extreme version of this belief. Serial killers who kill compulsively can still make heaven if they believe Jesus is Lord. You may say that someone who believes in Jesus wouldn’t be a serial killer, but I find it difficult to imagine that serial fornication and serial killing cannot both be mistakes and failings in a personal journey of righteousness. If you excuse one sin, you have to excuse all of it.

This doesn’t mean that the doctrine itself doesn’t make sense. I am not disputing it on logical grounds. To be fair, I am not even disputing it at all. I mostly don’t care enough to do that. However, I must point out that the bible verses they use to back it up do in fact mean what they interpret it to mean. Paul regularly told people that works didn’t guarantee salvation. He specifically said that works cannot save, lest anyone boast that they are in heaven because of their own personal righteousness. And he makes this point in three different letters;

Galatians 2;16

Know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified.

Romans 3;28

For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law.

Ephesians 2:8-9

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.

Therefore, it is pretty obvious that whatever Paul thought of works, he certainly didn’t think it was the critical point of salvation. It was merely a natural evidence of faith, and not an important yardstick for measuring fitness with Christ.

However, James also wrote that faith without works is dead. It is possible that works in James case referred to doing things in line with what you prayed for, not abstaining from sin. After all, the example he used in that passage was about someone not helping the needy because he had already prayed for them. But later on in the chapter, he also says You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only, which seems like a direct contradiction of Paul. Unfortunately, neither men knew their writings would be housed by the same book, so they could not sit down together and talk out the contradictions. There have been a lot of man-hours wasted on man-managing this contradiction and smoothing it over, but my perspective is that it is what it is; a contradiction. They exist, and sometimes they can be found in the Bible.

Even if we were to assume that this isn’t a contradiction, an application of common sense (that feared word!) would tell us that works should be just as important, if not more important, than faith. That is because anyone can believe anything. It doesn’t take much effort to profess that red is black, or black is white. Lies are quite easy to tell. Even if you argue that the lord sees our heart, people can trick themselves into believing absolute nonsense. Most people have been in relationships where they, without much prompting, told themselves stupid lies to feel good. So faith is low effort. But works aren’t. It is difficult to actually act in line with your beliefs. It is a thousand times more difficult than even having those beliefs in the first place.

Paul says justification by works is awful because people might boast about it. But why shouldn’t they? If you did an important thing or lived a sinless life, why shouldn’t you boast? It was your own effort and your own virility that led to it. If everyone else could do it, they would. So why shouldn’t you boast of your own achievement? If the argument is that the achievement isn’t yours because we do all things by the grace of God, wouldn’t that mean that those who fail do not fail by a lack of their own effort but by insufficient grace from God? In fact, isn’t it obvious to anyone that what you do is far more important than what you believe? Would any of us excuse a partner who did horrible things to us but excused it as growing pains while earnestly saying they loved us? Like Paul says, God Forbid!

But there is more. For people who take Paul at his words quite earnestly when it comes to matters of grace and works, CCI also ignores him quite earnestly when it comes to women. Of the four Sundays I attended the church, a woman preached twice. This would annoy Paul to no end as he made it quite clear that women are not allowed to speak in church and determine matters of doctrine. He was so clear about this matter that he said it three times in three different letters. The argument for this abdication of Paul’s injunction could be that it was only for a certain place and time. But couldn’t the same argument could be made for Paul’s letter where he puts faith above works, especially as the overwhelming majority of the rest of the Bible disagrees with it? Like they say on Twitter, we all know what we are doing.

Anyway, this got me thinking. If churches can ignore clear and established Christian doctrine like that, what other clear and established doctrine are they likely to ignore? Let's not fool ourselves. The only reason women are allowed to preach in modern churches is because gender equality is now cool. The Catholic and Anglican churches formed in antiquity never allowed it. Even early protestant churches didn't think of ignoring Paul so blatantly. But today you wouldn't even know that women are forbidden from preaching by Paul! So if that injunction can be ignored for social justice reasons, what other ones could be ignored in the future? Would we see a Gays for Christianity movement in Nigeria? After all, God is love. And what is more loving than taking it up the ass? It's already happening elsewhere.

I’m sure there are many other doctrinal bones to be picked, but those are the only ones I think I can appraise properly. Besides, nobody reads this newsletter to find out my opinion on Christian doctrine. On to more colorful comments.

ELGEEBEETEEQUE

A church would be the place you'd least expect your gaydar to be going off like crazy, but this is Nigeria and anything you see you have to take it like that. At this point I think new age churches like CCI are the third likeliest place you might encounter gays. The first being at exclusively gay festivals, the second being at university campuses, and the third being at church on Sundays. And I cannot lie, the logic is sound. If churches are a place for sinners, and active sinning doesn't necessarily mean you'd go to hell, then why can't gay people come to church? Scratch that, why can't they be as flamboyantly yet plausibly deniably gay at church? After all almost everyone drinks and fornicates and does ten thousand things the good Christ would frown at. And they still turn up to church on Sunday.

I also think it's kind of hypocritical for me, with my pink-nails, to call people gay because of how they dress. But to be absolutely fair to me, there are some items of clothing that just scream clear and unambiguous faggotry (sorry Meliodas!).

The average Jesus fan who also attends such new-age churches, for they are quite plenty, may retort and say that I am lying. They may say that it's actually not happening. But if I showed them a picture of such a member of the church, they would say maybe it's happening but it's rare. Then I would show them more pictures, and they would say okay, it may be happening. And later they would say, you know what, it's happening and it's good because Jesus metaphorically asked all the homos to come unto him. Which is exactly what she said. Anyway, if you're gay and looking for people to tangle in the beds with, you know where to go.

The fact that so many of the gays are drawn to churches like this suggests that attitudes towards homosexuality may undergo huge changes in the next decade or two. If the church can ignore Paul on the question of women preaching, then it would surely find it easier to ignore the old testament on the question of people taking it up the ass. Today there are many scholarly disputes on what Paul meant about homosexuality in Romans 1:26-28. Who knows what arguments will prove interesting to churches like CCI in the next decade?

Demographics Is Destiny

There are two shocking demographic trends concerning CCI. They are not shocking in the terms that they are unexpected, but in the terms of their degree. I always expect every church these days to be majority female. The rituals of organized religion is much suitable for women these days, and they are more likely to find comfort in the spiritual. But the degree of female overrepresentation at this church was shocking. The ratio was maybe 7:3. That is how severe it was.

The second demographic trend is the average age. It would be quite difficult to convince me that the average age here was anything above 30. I don’t know if the church, especially the branch I attended, is billed as a youth church, but that is essentially what it was. The fact that many of the branches are situated in tertiary university environments tells me that this is probably the same at all the other branches. This trend is important because of how vital it is going to be down the line.

The legacy churches in Nigeria are growing old just like their pastors are. Oyedepo is almost 70, and Adeboye is around the same age. The same goes for Olukoya, and even Pastor Chris is 60 years old. Kumuyi is practically a grandfather. The same goes for the membership of these churches. The daddies and mommies are getting old, and their children are leaving those churches for folks like Iren and Onayinka. If this trend holds, the difference will be obvious in a decade. The fact that the new age churches have an even larger gender bend towards women means that they will be many church mummy arms and Redeem-style-women-leader-hats in the future.

It is exciting, and is probably one of the most interesting demographic changes you are likely to experience as a Nigerian. Maybe you will tell your kids about how the popular churches in your day used to be Winners and Redeemed, just like your parents told you about Benson Idahosa and the CAC aladura gang. And of course their parents told them about the Anglican and Catholic churches.

The best example of this was a wedding thanksgiving I witnessed during the second Sunday. In my former church, wedding thanksgiving were usually grand affairs with all members of the family showing up. The parents and even grand parents sometimes came to church with the couple for the program. But this time, the groom and his bride came nearly alone, and there was no one above forty in the entire group. A sight like this might have given my pastor an heart attack, but it didn’t even register — as far as I could tell — in the mind of anyone present. This was just the new normal.

Will I Be Attending Again?

The two hours I spent on those four Sundays at CCI were mildly enjoyable. The experience, despite the fact that I did not believe a single word the pastor said, was soothing and even inspiring. I joined in the praise and worship when I knew the songs, and even tried to follow the narrative of the preaching. I can see why many people would attend once and never leave. If I had a Christian buddy looking for a church to join, I would probably recommend CCI.

But for me? No. For one, I like to be assaulted by Twitter-speak and Instagram-brain-rot on my own time. Here is what I mean. The pastor once spoke about someone’s characteristically undeserved miracle, and then said that it was proof of God’s intentionality about all of us. Then he used the words “God is so intentional about me” like some Twitter degenerate. This wasn’t the only offence, as there is a running theme of Twitter-speak from the pulpit. Imagine going to church on Sunday to hear Twitter arguments and talking points from your pastor. I would kill myself.

There is even a point at the end of the service where we are encouraged to bring out our phones and make Instagram/snap selfie videos with the fellow members. I cannot emphasize this enough; I would rather plug out my eyes and use it fry eggs than do that.

I suppose all of this makes the preaching more relatable to people who suffer brain-rot due to social media content, but I would prefer not to have to listen to Twitter and social media references from the pulpit on Sundays. The church is supposed to be a place of God, not a place I am reminded of our communal retardation as a species.

Secondly, praying in the Holy Ghost is just not for me. I know many people love and recommend saying absolute nonsense fervently, but I try to avoid roleplaying a mental fellow during my church services. Again, I can understand if uttering rubbish quite seriously frees you from the shackles of articulating words, but If I want to pretend to speak to a spirit, I want to pretend to do it properly.

Thirdly, there are way too many unattractive singles. When I first planned to attend, I hoped there would be many attractive singles. But once I arrived I asked myself; where are all the hot people? I was told that there was going to be all these attractive singles, but as far as I could tell I was the best looking person there.

And lastly, no I would not be attending again because of more pressing issues. You see, I have had a lot of fun immersing myself in the Sunday services of CCI. So much fun that I think I would do it again for another church. There are many churches that people don’t have an eagle-eyed view of as the only accounts of them come from currently attending members, or spurned members. I present something new; an objective eye into manners and rituals that tells you exactly what these guys are up to. So, over the next month or two, I will be working on another church and attending four Sundays as well.

The good news is that you can choose the next church I attend by either writing in and making a good case for why, or voting in this absolutely harmless poll.

Bonus

As a bonus to this absolute train-wreck of an article, I would like to add a conversation I had with a female atheist who currently attends CCI for community. Which is a fancy way of saying she did not have friends and wanted to make some.

Did you suddenly become a Christian? I’ve always wanted to ask.

Ha ha, no. I’m here for the music and the fanbase so it’s mostly performative for me.

My guy?

But that is on a need to know basis.

Please don’t kill me now.

What? It is true. The music is really good. (Like I have stated, it is)

But I get it sha. So all your evangelist friends don’t know you are just there for the vibes?

Well, the most fun I had early last year was actually with my church people. Of course they don’t know. People that I can skabash with for more than two hours? Please now.

God! Not Skabash! Ha ha!

It is a very Gen Z church so we have a love feast where we play games and sing Karaoke. I also have an inner circle and we get together to go out and stuff.

That is so sweet. Maybe I will join CCI for that reason alone! (I absolutely won’t).

Yeah, it is pretty cool. Think like an AIESEC hangout but with regular drinks, gospel rap music and opening prayer.

Gospel rap music? I could kill myself If I was at a party and someone rhymed God’s salvation and we rule this nation. I would commit seppuku immediately.

It is not that bad! You can try to join. It is fun, seriously. I want to welcome you to the body of Christ!

Body of Christ? No. The only body I’m interested in is for fornication purposes.

But even at that you will find them. Not like CCI is specifically degenerate, but baddies are in every church these days. But in CCI she might dress like a baddie but be a Proverbs 31 woman inside.

Really? No thanks. If I try to talk to someone and they even indirectly referenced Proverbs 31, I would reevaluate all my life choices up until that point. Imagine attending your church and then outing your degenerate status to someone like that! Do you guys pray? (Yes, I know, daft question).

Serious, it’s not that bad. Yes we pray oh! Sometimes I leave my earpods in and listen to something else, or kneel down and skabash small and then put my head on a chair and take a nap till they finish.

What the hell, man! Ha ha!

Serious. If you join, join a MAP so you’ll find someone that is within your area!

(I cannot imagine a worse thing than someone from church knowing where you live. I am trying to imagine something worse than that and I really can’t.)

But it is not that bad. Lowkey I think maybe 80% of the church is having sex sha or has had. If you are interested in joining, walk in, stand up for first timers, and someone will call you. After the second time someone will ask you to join a MAP and that’s it.

That is crazy, but thank you!

To be fair to her, I think she is a proper Christian now, which is probably a good thing. Thank God for Tinubu — he’s turned half of my friend group to chain smokers and the other half into strong Christians. A miracle working God, that is who he is.

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